Wednesday, April 24, 2013

When You Need to Call Off Your Wedding

Some of you know that I was engaged before to another guy and called off the wedding 6 days out.

Sadly I'm sure you know more divorced people than those that called off their wedding.  

With wedding season around the intention isn't to scare people but the truth is that there's more people getting married not being 100% sure about their decision and thus, not being 100% committed and ultimately it leads to divorce.  That's bad. Divorces make more people think that marriage isn't as meaningful or significant.

How do you know when to call it quits before walking down the aisle?  Is it worth it?  Is it the right decision?
Only you can decide.  It has to be your decision.  Not anyone else.  Every relationship is different.
But I do have some thoughts as a result of my experience.  It may or may not help someone. 
I know that there's a billion exceptions to what I'm about to say, but EVERYTHING I SAY IS TRUE!

Marrying the wrong person can ruin your life.

Wedding planning can be a deterrent to fully paying attention to the thing that matters: whom you're marrying. 
It's so easy to brush off your concerns and red flags aside to focus on wedding stuff. Once all the planning is take a hard look at your betrothed and realize that life with your betrothed will always be flawed and cloudy as the ring he gave you.  It's tough because at one point you were in love and but then the relationship wanes. 

If you ever ask yourself during wedding planning if you're making a mistake, get out!  It's not worth it asking yourself this and then wondering about it after getting married?! Horrible!!  

It is also not worth it during the engagement when your betrothed says stuff that makes you doubt your relationship or love and commitment for you.  Can you live with these doubts in the back of your mind for the rest of your life??

No way!!!

It's never too late to call off the wedding but the sooner you realize you can't go through with the wedding, call it off!!  Being human, we all make mistakes.  It's a bigger mistake to go through with the wedding with someone you're not 100% committed to or vice versa. 

Not gonna lie, telling everyone you called off your wedding is embarrassing and emotionally taxing!  Unlike a divorce, where it's announced quietly, EVERYONE knows at once. Some ask you stupid questions or say stupid stuff to try to make you feel better because they don't know what else to say.
The divorced ones when discovering I was no longer getting married happened to be the most understanding about it, and said great things that really helped me get through that time.  Nothing trite or cliche. 
No amount of what you spent on the wedding is going to make up for a miserable marriage!  

Surprisingly a lot of divorced people I knew explained that had doubts about whom they were marrying but went through with it anyway.  Some of them rationalized that things will be different after the wedding.  
Lesson learned: What you see is now in a person is what you get!  You can't change anyone!  

If you aren't happy with your relationship now when you're dating or engaged...chances are it won't change much when you get married.

I pushed aside my concerns for a long long time until I realized it and had to decide then and there that even though the wedding was all set to go, it wasn't worth it. It wasn't worth staying in a relationship with someone whose problems and priorities were more important than me.  Looking back, I am very grateful we figured this out before and not after the wedding.  

At the time I wasn't sure how things would work out or how I was going to get through this.  

People may miss a good party but it's better than hearing stories about the divorce.  
If your wedding was called off, you'll be okay. 
If you feel guilty or remorse for the decision, make your apologies sincere to those affected and move on.  If you can't, then don't bother at all.  

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Apothecary Jars

Apothecary Jars are so much fun!

They come in all shapes and sizes.  I first saw them on a dessert spread by Amy Atlas.  I ADORE her fun ideas.

These jars are perfect for displaying candies and goodies in your wedding colors.  They look so cute on display.

I saw a great idea while browsing on Pinterest and told myself I HAD to do this.

I used to paint my own nails but I'm hooked on Shellac and now pay someone to do my nails.

But I still love my non-Shellac nail polish and wanted to display them.  Especially since some of them are from Brazil and are just fun and sweet colors.  They are special too, since they were given by friends down there.

I kept looking at Home Goods since they sell these jars at a great price.  It took me a couple of weeks and visits to Home Goods until they finally re-stocked on apothecary jars.

This was $10 and stores my nail polish prettily.

Monday, April 15, 2013

Get nothing smaller than a king -size bed

If you are on the market to shop for a bed, get a king size bed if you can fit it in your room

Trust me.  It's the best.  I had been on a twin bed all my life and was set on going big when I got married.

Some reasons to get a king-size bed:

It's comfortable for two

It's comfortable for very pregnant ladies

It's very comfortable for one person.

If you have a smaller bed, chances are you'll opt for a king size later in life.

Unless you're in a studio.
Cuddling is rather pleasant in a twin bed.

Guest room before.  I already miss the pink sheets but hubby said they need to go.

The guest room now.  Still fun but more gender-neutral.