Thursday, August 22, 2013

Pregnancy Musing #3

If you google "touch a pregnant woman's belly" there is a plethora of blogs and comments of how women despise having their belly touched while pregnant, even by their own families!  They say it's so

I don't understand why so many women are so sensitive about this, other than that some women see it as the same violation as groping your breasts or butt.  

Unfortunately because of the huge possibility of freaking out and upsetting a hormonal pregnant woman, I wouldn't touch any pregnant belly and would never dream of asking to touch a belly unless I knew for sure that person wouldn't mind being asked that.

My thoughts concerning this:

I feel that with this "hands off my belly!" attitude, people would avoid pregnant women completely and view pregnancy as some kind of foreign taboo because "it's bad/wrong to touch a pregnant woman's belly", and lose focus of the real deal of being pregnant.  

When people touch a belly, it is a gesture of the person showing love, admiration and RESPECT for the new addition and value of human life.  That's a pretty big deal because more people are not viewing a growing baby as a person; call it anything else but a person and it's okay to abort it.  

I don't mind the belly touch and welcome it, so that more people get inspired and become more in awe of the value of human life.  Why get offended, freak out, or slap someone's hand if they want to touch your belly?        

I have a treasure growing inside of me not only for myself and my husband but for the world as well. 

I'm simply in a beautiful stage of carrying life and extremely happy when others recognize too, young and old, male and female.  

What do you think:

Do you think a pregnant woman's belly should be off-limits?

Or should she share and let us feel the baby kick?

Friday, August 9, 2013


Oh dear.  Another mommy/pregnancy post.  Anyhow. 

A diaper, whether it is cloth or disposable does the same thing: collect pee and poo.

They both look gross and smell bad after use.

I did look into cloth vs disposable diapers, and weighed the pros and cons.  I realized what may be a pro/con for one family may not be a pro/con for another family.  

Washing poopy diapers on a constant basis is not appealing for me.  Nor is paying someone else to wash them, and keep them smelly and dirty until pickup.  Plus I'm already polluting the air with my car and polluting the water with dirty laundry water.  And our washer/dryer is TINY, it is expensive enough for washing and drying multiple loads. Using hot water is expensive.

I don't even like the idea of keeping dirty disposable diapers in the house!  Once removed from the baby, it needs to be thrown away OUTSIDE in the trash asap.  

Now I've decided on disposables, I'm set on beating the system with reducing costs of paying for  disposables.  

I went around earlier this week and started my price-booking on diapers.  The stores I've been to so far are:

  • Target
  • WalMart
  • Babies R Us
  • Rite Aid

I still need to look at: 

  • Walgreens
  • Family Dollar
  • buybuy Baby
  • Smith's

I did not check into Costco.  The diaper savings aren't much different, and combined with the membership, it isn't a good deal.  Also I've been reading that Amazon Mom keeps changing its discounts (well it can because it's a free service) so I am not sure about getting diapers delivered.   So the plan now is to buy small packs locally.  

Bigger quantities of diapers isn't always better cost-wise!  
Smaller packs of diapers are generally a better deal than the jumbo size boxes per diaper, if you calculate the price per diaper.    

From a coupon perspective, you can buy 3 packs of 50ct diapers, print out 3 $1.50 off manufacturer coupons and save more.  Stack them with a store coupon and save more.  If there's a store deal (buy one get one FREE), even better.  

If you get a 150 ct box of diapers, you can only use one $1.50 off coupon.   

Also I have no idea what diaper our baby will like so I figured if there is a brand of diapers that sucks,  I could go through the small pack quicker and get another brand in a small pack size.  

Obviously the generic brands are cheaper.  I am not picky on brands (although I hear Pampers is great).  I figured it is pointless to spend more money on a specific brand when it's still going to get soiled and thrown away.  Plus it's important to change a baby's diaper often.  

The drugstores like Rite Aid and Walgreens are usually the best per price.  
Walmart is good too, especially with their generic.  
Target also is good.
I think all stores are just need to be the first to know when there is a sale.  And have some coupons ready!!  There are always coupons for Luvs, Huggies, and Pampers.  

If all else fails with my diaper cost savings plans, I'll financially exploit our baby girl to be in diaper commercials.  
What a cutie!!!  

Any other suggestions or financial mistakes to avoid when buying diapers??  Help me out....

Thursday, August 8, 2013

Pregnancy Musings #2

I didn't get any offers for the positions I interviewed at.  

But that's fine!  I had already decided that if I didn't get a job offer by August, I will halt my job search and get ready for baby ^_^

Later I will go back to work when I feel it's right to do so.  Maybe I will pursue grad school instead.  

I always think it's good for women to work outside of the home. It's like insurance for your family if something unexpected happened.  

Of course I used to dread a lot about staying home back when I worked.   

Some things I worried about a lot as a full time college educated professional and not worry about anymore:

"You will be bored at home" 
Guess what??
I can get bored at work too!  Especially since my ultimate professional goal is to get a job that is all glory, great pay, and no effort.  Most likely I will have to invent this job description.  I wouldn't be able to by moving up the ladder at several places.  

I haven't been bored at home.  Just lazy, since it feels like a long term vacation :-D  Slowly working on a routine.    

"You won't be successful in your career if you don't have a job"
Guess what??
I don't consider it a career success if you just work for someone else.  Every. freaking. day. until. retirement.  This may be true for some but not for me.  
For me, a career success would be to have people work for me.  A career success is that business keeps going as usual, without me needing to be there if I'm the owner.  
I don't consider people successful if they are working to make money.  The successful ones make their money work for them.  At some point I don't want to work for money!

Also not working for someone else gives you lots of time to think of possible new business ideas that have been hibernating in your brain.  Having a full-time job, all I would think about was the job at hand and nothing else.  

If my ideas don't work, then I can always go back to work again.  Simple as that.  

"You won't have money"
Guess what??
I have savings!  I wouldn't have quit if I was broke!  And I saved more when I made LESS money back in the day.  If you're spending more than what you earn, you look for ways to cut expenses, or find another way of making revenue.  Easy.   

"You have better use of time by having a full-time job"
Guess what??
I remember how frustrated I would get because I wanted to help out in the community but I couldn't because of work.   
There are so many organizations/charities that need help to achieve their honorable and worthy goals and the most requested thing besides needing money is volunteer TIME.  Time is so valuable!!  

I was very surprised at how many organizations/charities need volunteer help with admin/office work over delivering heavy boxes of canned food.  It's also good for the networking and references in the future.

I've been in contact with some organizations and from there we'll see what works for me and for them.  I'm excited!  

Realizing these things made me feel free.  Feeling free makes me happy and I want it to stay that way :)

Friday, August 2, 2013

Interviewing While Obviously Pregnant

I got called last week for an interview on Monday for an accounting job I applied for at the beginning of April. 

Then I got a call for two interviews later that Friday at other locations, and adding a second round interview from the one on Monday.   

It mushroomed clouded to more calls for interviews and follow-up interviews.  

I decided to take this opportunity to interview because the jobs were appealing and it would be a good experience for me to see what is it like interviewing while pregnant.  I'm more than halfway, and starting to show!  

If you're pregnant and looking for a job...

Do your part to make sure that the hiring decision was based on your ability to do the job, not because you'll give birth and need time off. 

DO NOT bring up the pregnancy during the interview process unless asked about it.  Bring up your pregnancy if you get an offer, and deal with that from there.  

In general, interviewers rather not know that you're pregnant because they need to make the most objective decision possible based on your ability and other candidates' ability to do the job, not because you're pregnant or about to get pregnant.  

Good hiring managers are interested in your skills and abilities, not your personal life.  Plus they don't want to run a risk of a lawsuit.  

Having these thoughts ingrained in my mind helped a lot with being able to focus on preparing for questions in the interview that do matter.  

If possible, hide your bump but don't freak out if you can't hide it any longer. What's wrong with you being pregnant, healthy and looking for a job anyway?  Nothing!

Things I discovered:

  • I realized that interviewers can ask a lot harder questions than the question of "are you pregnant?" 
  • I realized that I couldn't control what they'd ask me but I could control my response and reaction to a difficult, off-topic and/or illegal question.
  • I realized I couldn't control a hiring manager's decision or reaction if she/he noticed my bump.  
  • I realized that just because there are biases with interviewing pregnant women, doesn't mean you shouldn't apply for jobs you are qualified for.  
  • I realized that there's no reason to get upset or sad if I wasn't hired, pregnant or not pregnant.

You still need to answer the question.  

If you don't answer the question, or fumble your answers, this will grossly affect your chances of being hired, or in this case below, lose the crown.  Especially if the question is easy to answer.  

You don't want your interviewer having the same expression as Giuliana's
And WHY did it have to be Miss Utah out of all the contestants at Miss USA...

BTW the pageant question was...
"A recent report shows that in 40 percent of American families with children, women are the primary earners, yet they continue to earn less than men. What does it say about society?"

Miss Utah USA should have answered something like this:
"I think it's amazing that more women today, especially mothers have opportunities for full-time employment outside of the home, but the fact that women are still being paid less than men for the same level of work experience means that society hasn't made much progress for working women"

Booyah!  I self-crowned myself with that answer.

Be positive with your answers even though it may not be an answer they're expecting or like to hear.  That's their issue, not yours.  

Based on my research and talking with experienced managers and co-workers, here are common legal pregnancy questions and best answers to respond to them.  

How long do you plan on being employed with us?  

I would like to pursue my career here as long as I have the opportunity to
The "I plan to work until I have my baby" answer doesn't make sense to a hiring manager.  

Are you expecting to take a leave of absence in the near future?

Ask them "What is your maternity leave policy?  I will follow that policy"
That way you let them know (1) yes you will take a leave of absence, (2) they know what it's for, and (3) you won't bend rules just because you're pregnant, and will follow whatever they have in place for leaves of absence.  

If you do get a question that really is illegal...Are you pregnant?

Please don't walk out of the interview or say "That's an illegal question!"  College textbooks say to do this but don't. 

Turn it around into a positive response, and quickly get back on track focusing on your qualifications for the job.  

You are not going to die by telling the truth that you are pregnant or vice versa.  

But do report it to HR.  Some interviewers are clueless with what questions can be asked so HR can step in and assist hiring managers into the right direction.  

If you didn't get hired, and illegal questions were asked...
Consult a lawyer, win the lawsuit or...just consider yourself lucky not working for a company that focuses more on age, marital status, race, and physical characteristics rather than your actual qualifications as a viable candidate who possesses the required skills necessary to perform the essential functions of the job! 

Before my interviews I ate a very light meal so that my tummy wouldn't stick out too much and sucked up my tummy as best as I could to practice walking in and out of interviews but according to some of my friends and family, I still look pregnant so...I gave up on doing that.  ^_^

What I ended up doing was covering up my bump with my big purse on one hand and my leather notepad on the other hand as I walked in to interview and did that again as I got up to leave.  I don't know if I look obviously pregnant when sitting down at a table.  Oh well.  Who cares?





Whether they noticed my bump or not was not my biggest concern!  My bump may be a concern for a hiring manager, but that is something I cannot control!  

My biggest concerns at interviews were:
  • Doing well with answering the questions asked and
  • Determining if this is where I'd want to work, especially since I'm having a baby, so the work/family life balance is of greater consideration.

So far I had 5 in-person interviews while pregnant at 24-25 weeks.

Only today I had a question about pregnancy and just answered the question.  It was concerning leave of absence and they wanted to know what the leave of absence would be for.  Personally I wouldn't have asked details about leaves of absence during the interview process but oh well, it is what it is.

If you are confident about doing the job, that will show more than your obvious baby bump to a good hiring manager.  A poor hiring manager will not see that, and that is the last type of person you want to work for whether you are male or female, pregnant or not pregnant! 

I wasn't selected at the end for a job I initially interviewed last Monday but that's okay!  More interviews to come and waiting for responses from other places I interviewed.

Interviewing while pregnant has been a great learning experience for me.  It taught me to keep positive, not take things personal if I wasn't selected for a job, stay very focused on presenting myself as the best job candidate, and most importantly, be able to see what type of place I want to work at when our baby comes.

It would have been easier to get discouraged, or avoid interviewing altogether during pregnancy because it's never fun being discriminated against for a job.  I don't know when I'll get a job, but I'd still interview regardless if I was pregnant or not.

On a final note...check to see if you fit in your work slacks before interviewing so you have time to rush to the mall to buy a pair that fits. Out of the four pairs of slacks I own, only one still fits.  Hah.

If you get called for an interview and you're pregnant--don't fret, just prove that you're the best person for the job.

Thursday, August 1, 2013

Just Say No To Baby Registry

We were fine without a registry for our wedding.  So with a baby shower on the way, we aren't registering for baby girl.

My reasons not to have a registry:

  • Registering eliminates the surprise factor for the recipient.  
  • Registering eliminates the creativity and imagination factor for the giver.   
  • Registering gives away how much people spent on your gift.
  • Registering limits the giver's shopping options as well as ours.  I love many stores...I couldn't get myself to pick "the one" store to get all our things that are essential for life with a baby, as told by sales associates everywhere.  
  • People who REALLY want to get you a gift, do want to get you something you like, or something sweet, cute, or useful for the baby!
  • Anything we get as a shower gift is good; since it's our first baby.   
  • My theory I made up before our wedding worked!!!  That being, we were less likely to receive duplicates by not registering.  If we registered for a crockpot, chances are somebody is going to look for one similar to the one on our registry and get one that's cheaper.  That's how people get stuck with a ton of duplicates.  We got zero crockpots while other couples we knew that registered received 11 crockpots...

Plus....I couldn't register for baby stuff I consider too personal, no way I'm going to request gifts that involves my nursing preferences or breasts in general  ----> (O)(O)  =D

How did women and babies survive before baby registries were invented?  I'm pretty sure the majority of women of the world and their babies have been doing fine without them.